When it comes to teen marijuana use, the greatest barrier to early intervention often isn’t access, denial, or even the substance itself — it’s stigma. Not the kind aimed at teens, but the kind parents feel themselves: fear of being overreactive, judged, or blamed.

The clinical team at Stonewater Adolescent Recovery Center sees this every day. Parents arrive with concern and love, but also guilt, confusion, and a desire to minimize what’s happening — especially when it “only” involves marijuana.

“We didn’t want to make it worse.”

“Parents specifically think that if they ask, they’re going to be highlighting that their child might be struggling,” says Elizabeth Fikes, Co-Founder and Director of Outreach. “So they don’t ask. Or they soften the conversation. Or they wait until the symptoms are too loud to ignore.”

That delay, while understandable, often allows marijuana use to escalate — and gives it space to entrench itself in a teen’s identity and coping patterns.

Jeff Noles, Clinical Director, adds that some parents fear judgment from other families. “They don’t want to be ‘that parent’ who’s overreacting or paranoid. They downplay the behavior, even when they know something’s off.”

Marijuana Is Normal… Right?

One major challenge is cultural perception. In many circles, marijuana use is not only tolerated — it’s normalized. “Parents compare it to drinking in the ’80s,” says Bryan Fikes, CEO and Co-Founder of Stonewater. “They think, ‘I did it and turned out fine,’ or ‘At least it’s not fentanyl.’ But today’s marijuana is fundamentally different — more potent, more accessible, and far more harmful to the developing brain.”

Because of that, many parents hesitate to seek residential treatment, even when their child is clearly struggling. “We hear, ‘But it’s just weed,’” Noles says. “They feel ashamed or embarrassed to pursue help because they think it shouldn’t be this serious. Meanwhile, the kid’s grades are crashing, they’re isolating, or worse — experiencing psychosis.”

What Shame Steals from Parents

Stigma doesn’t just delay treatment — it erodes trust. Parents stuck in shame often:

• Feel isolated from other families

• Doubt their instincts

• Avoid asking for help

• Struggle to set firm boundaries

• Wait until the situation becomes a crisis

All of this makes it harder for the teen to feel safe, supported, and understood — the exact opposite of what they need.

“We have to normalize that parenting is hard,” Fikes says. “It’s not a moral failure if your kid is struggling. In fact, recognizing it early and stepping in? That’s the best kind of parenting there is.”

Breaking the Stigma, One Conversation at a Time

So what can you do?

• Talk to other parents. Chances are, they’re dealing with similar concerns. Shared experiences break isolation.

• Seek support early. You don’t need a full-blown crisis to ask a therapist for guidance.

• Don’t wait for a wake-up call. Behavioral shifts, declining performance, or secrecy are all enough reason to lean in.

• Challenge your assumptions. Today’s marijuana isn’t the same. Neither are today’s teens.

And above all, lead with curiosity, not fear.

“Shame makes us hide,” says Noles. “But healing happens in the open.”